- I wake up everyday at 9am because I feel hungry and baby inside my tummy might also be getting hungry too.
- Yes, estimatedly, I almost 3months pregnant right now and I am sooooo hungry and in a roller coaster ride of emotions!
- I'm always hungry and thinking of what yummy food to eat but then again I don't have money.
- Husband is still here and waiting for his schedule from their heartless agency. His sched to depart was supposedly around May. Until it was moved to June, July, August and now, October!!!!!! Wa na miy kwarta and naa pa miy mga utang with interest!! How can I sleep soundly with that thought??
- The bright side to having my husband around is that he voluntarily does the cooking when the helper's not around. I wash the dishes every now and then. Sometimes, he does them too. He's a big help around the house especially with mommy. Also washes the car. And for most days, he stays in the house just like me which I know is taking a great effort from him knowing how he wants to talk to different people all the time.
- The downside is, someone is always watching my move!!! Waiting for something productive that I would do. And in reality, I just want to sit somewhere and stare at space the entire time if I only could!!
- He has this standard that women should know how to work around the house. Wash the dishes, clean every corner, do the laundry, and of course, cook!! All of which I loathe and abhor if he only knew!! But he insists that as a woman and as a wife, I should know how to do all those. It's silently pressuring me and the fact that doing those doesn't give me self fulfillment nor any kind of happiness. No, I don;t want to do household chores. I'm not lazy. I just dont want to sweat. And do you that during the daytime, the level of hotness is intense!!! Also, sweating makes me feel self-pity. What did I ever do to deserve working like this? Don't I deserve to work in a gloriously airconditioned office and not in a bloody hot kitchen? :( I guess husband doesn't understand that. Maybe he never will...
- So again, I'm pregnant and I could barely afford to buy my vitamins and much more the needed calcium intake I could get from buying Anmum,,, I can't even get myself checked by my preferred OB. Because guess what? Financial constraints. I might have to go back to that lying in clinic where I used to go to during my first pregnancy. Where I got a 3-month post partum depression. Yeah, I could just go back there....
- Aside from wanting to buy food, going out with friends and having actual people to talk to and who would understand me could help. But guess what? Yep, financial constraints to the power of not having a penny to pay the jeepney. I am THAT cash strapped.
- I talked to husband whether not having money could lead to sickness? I somehow felt a bad headache earlier today and wanted to throw up every now and then. I was very nauseous earlier.
After writing the above thoughts, I think I'm getting okay now. Or katugon lang ko or kapoy or gutom nasad. Hahayyyy.
